Daily Temperature Reading – A Skill for Committed Relationships
Is it even possible to love someone for your entire life?
Yes, you can love someone for a lifetime, but you need the knowledge and skills to maintain and grow the relationship. As the creator of The Daily Temperature Reading technique, I know it is not how much you love each other that strengthens a long-term relationship; it’s how you resolve differences and preserve fun and sensuality
Luckily, everyone can learn, practice, and improve their relationship skills. Later in this blog, I will share a quick exercise, the Daily Temperature Reading, that helps couples strengthen their regular communication skills and builds closeness.
7 Reasons Why People Want Healthy Relationships Skills
Over many years as a therapist, I have identified the seven reasons people want to develop healthy relationships skills:
- Communicating – listening and self-expression
- Resolving conflict
- Managing anger and resentment
- Dealing with individual differences
- Wanting more out of the relationship
- Rebuilding trust when it has been broken
- Being single–wanting to find the ‘one’ and develop a healthy relationship
The Daily Temperature Reading Technique is for You
If you are looking for any of these things, then you’re in luck; I designed my programs around these critical facets. I teach people how to communicate effectively, manage conflicts without damaging closeness, and preserve and enhance commitment, friendship, and intimacy.
If you have never been to a program like this before, you may be wondering what kinds of skills you could learn. Here’s one of my favorite exercises, the Daily Temperature Reading.
What is The Daily Temperature Reading?
Virginia Satir, a pioneer of family therapy, developed the Daily Temperature Reading. It is a skill-based activity that you and your partner can do together on a regular basis to build a connection and learn to communicate on important topics. It even has been used in the PAIRS Program and by the Smart Marriages- Healthy Families Conference.
The Daily Temperature Reading is comprised of the following five steps:
- Appreciation: Something you each appreciate that the other person did.
- New Information: Big or small, something you haven’t shared with your partner.
- Puzzle: What’s on your mind, what issues are you struggling with?
- Complaint with a request for change: Ask your partner what you need.
- Wish, hope, or dream: Something you’re looking forward to.
You may find it helpful to print this out and refer to it until you and your partner have the steps memorized.
Are you more of a visual learner? Watch this video for a walk-through of the exercise:
About the creator of The Daily Temperature Reading
Early in her career, Dr. DeMaria became interested in a number of relationship skills programs, including Prepare-Enrich and PAIRS – Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills. For over 20 years she taught the PAIRS program to hundreds of participants. She also conducted research on helping distressed couples, published several professional books, and a bestselling health and wellness book with Reader’s Digest, The 7 Stages of Marriage.
Dr. DeMaria trained and collaborated with her colleagues at Council for Relationships to develop the Relationship Checkup and Healthy Relationships and Wellness Programs, for which she served as the Director prior to her retirement.
About CFR’s Couples Therapy
Relationships require work. Counseling can help improve communication, deepen intimacy, and reduce conflict. Click here to learn more about CFR’c Couples Therapy. If you would like to request an appointment with an individual, couples, or family therapist or psychiatrist, click here. As a nonprofit, CFR offers low and no-fee therapy options to those who are facing financial hardships. Click here to learn more about our low and no-fee therapy options.
About CFR’s Relationships Checkup Program
At Council for Relationships, we’re committed to helping people understand their relationships and heal past hurts so they can live their best lives. Our Relationship Checkup (RCU) Program will give you more understanding of what works in your relationship and what does not. To learn more, click here.